don't mean to imply Meijer was dirty, but I feel safe saying it was more often than not tired looking, or had an overall "lived-in" vibe? very lived-in.
this Publix store is clean. very clean; mom-frenzy-cleaned-because-company-is-coming(!) clean.
I had no idea an Easter Peeps™️ display could evoke almost sacred/reverential emotions. the cellophane boxes were lined up by color, then by animal, that all fit perfectly (OCD perfectly), within the display edges.
aaaannndddd, nary a skewed dot-eye on the chicks, nor a missing dot-nose on the bunnies. it was as if the sugared chicks and bunnies had a perfect sugared gene pool; no sugared birth defects! HOW?! is that even natural? #GMOsuspicions
I move deeper into the store.
at Meijer, the deli is always a haphazard free for all section. Hanging packaged cheese, and/or packaged sliced lunch meats are always intermingling--swiss cheese shoved onto the bologna hanger, ew. cold rotisserie chickens dropped on top of a row of veggie wrap sandwiches. ew. (don't even get me started on the day-old $2 plastic pot of potato salad cavorting around the Boar's Head! 🐗) #thenerve
you get the idea, Meijer deli mayhem, with the added bonus of the put-me-out-of-my-misery staff.
despite the initial religious experience with the Peeps™️, I was sure the Publix deli would be on par with Meijer.
nope.
it, all of it, was, was beautiful. my eyes strained to find the flaw, none. I bug-eyed spun 360° taking in the color pallette--yes(!), I said pal-lette!
with every fiber of my being, I believe they color schemed the entire deli! the harmony, the cohesiveness of the collection (<--- Project Runway fashion show speak).
every deli detail was noted, every inviting nuance was on display--clean, ordered, eye-flow--it was all there. my eyes darted to the DIY soup dispensary.
"ah-ha!" I inwardly sneered, "surely there are smatterings of broccoli cheese and chicken noodle soups all over the counter. or at least multi-sized bowls with missing matching lids."
nope. and, an aside brain-scream, "HOW?!"
looking almost like a Meijer crazy I fast-walked (a true Meijer crazy would run--I've seen it) down each aisle, section after section, grocery item after grocery item, all perfectly aligned.
suddenly recalling I had a list, I went into auto-pilot and carefully removed each item on my list, afraid to knock something out of alignment, unsure if a supernatural ripple-effect would cause a cosmic cataclysm.
I made my way to the front of the kinda-sorta intimidating gorgeous store, trying to decide if I loved my new grocery stomping grounds, or was afraid of all the perfection--do I belong in a perfect store?--when I found it--
the flaw.
the thermal exhaust port in the Death Star flaw. (love me a good Star Wars ref #tehetehe)
the I'm-now-living-in-the-country-closest-grocery-store-to-me(!) Publix
has
no
self-checkout.
y'all. this single disastrous flaw means I'm being forced into the world of cashier/customer small talk. please send thoughts and prayers.
#maytheSouthernForcebewithme
